Short Dirty, Funny, Rude and One line Short Dirty Jokes

Short Dirty Jokes

The Very Special Parrot!

A man walked into a pet store looking for a new pet for his wife.So he asked the salesman for some assistance. The salesguy brought the man to a parrot in the back."Now this is the perfect pet fo

Uncle Jack

Say you had an Uncle Jack. Say your Uncle Jack helped you get off an elephant. Would you help your Uncle Jack off an elephant?

Funny Rude Jokes

New watch at school

One day a school boy was showing off his new watch at school. One of his mates asks how he got it. He said "Well the other night i walked in on my mum and dad having sex, my dad got mad and said

Bad Example

One day two very loving parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "bitch" and the women called the man a "bastard".Their son walked in and said "What does bitc

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Funny and Short Dirty Jokes

Funny Dirty Joke

A young girl walks in on her parents having sex. She asks,
"Mum, what are you doing to Dad?"

Mum replies, "I was just letting the air out of him - he's too fat."

The little girl replies, "Why, the lady next door is just going to blow him up again."

Short Dirty Jokes

What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!


What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Hooker and Guy Joke

This guy is walking down the street, when a hooker approaches him and asks, “Say, wanna have a good time?” “Sure!” he says as they head off to the nearest motel. She takes off her clothes, all the while he’s staring at her. The hooker says, “Is this the first pussy you’ve seen since you crawled out of one?” The guy says, “Nope, just the first one I’ve seen big enough to crawl back into.”

Licking Balls Joke

Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street, when they come across this dog sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, “I sure wish I could do that!”

The other one looks at him and says, “Well, I think I’d pet him first.”

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Short and Funny Dirty Jokes

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Teacher and Child Student short Joke

Teacher to child: How should we add one and one so that they may be more than two?
Child Student: Sir, we should marry them.

Wife & Husband Funny Joke

A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that ?

"I would love to." replied the husband, "but I don't know her well enough.

Short and Funny Dirty Joke on 2 Dogs

Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter.... First Woman : "My dog is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me. Second Woman : "I know..." First Woman : "How?" Second Woman : "My dog told me."

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Dirty Jokes Short Dirty Jokes Funny Dirty Jokes Dirty Blonde Jokes

Welcome to Dirty Text Message Jokes. Here you can find Dirty Jokes, Short Dirty Jokes, one line dirty jokes, dirty blonde jokes and different types of dirty jokes like funny dirty jokes, rude short dirty jokes and some other dirty text message jokes.

Short, one line and Funny Dirty Jokes

Q. Why dont blind men skydive?
A. Because it scares the shit out of the dog

Q. Why do men get their great ideas in bed?
A. Because their plugged into a genius!

Q. What's blue and fluffy
A. Pink fluff holding it's breath

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Dirty Blonde Jokes, Funny Dirty Jokes and Rude Text Jokes

One night with Princess Dirty Jokes

A King had to leave his Kingdom for some business. He was afraid that his only Daughter would be taken advantage of by some of the Guards because she was a very deep sleeper. So before he left, he slipped a razor blade between the lips of her vagina.

The King left. That night, three of the Guards did plan to Fuck the Princess.

The First Guard went into her room. From outside of the room, the other two Guards listened. Suddenly, they heard the First Guard scream. He came out. The other two Guards asked why he screamed. Embarrassed, he said that it was so good that he couldn't control himself. This made the other two smile.

The Second Guard went in. After some time? Ahhhhh!!! The Second Guard came out. The Third Guard asked what happened. Just as embarrassed as the First Guard, the Second Guard said that it felt so good that he couldn't control himself. The Third Guard smiled.

The Third Guard went into the room. He went up to the Princess and lifted her dress. Outside, the other two Guards listened. Mmmmmhhhh!?! The other two Guards took off! The next morning, the King came back. He suspected that his Guards tried to fuck his daughter. He told them to drop their pants. Each of them did. Two of them had sliced

dicks, but the third one didn?t. Confused, the King asked why. He stuck his tongue out and said, ?I neba pry fuk ur dahta, I wet lik ur dahta?!

Ant Dirty Joke

There are two ants living in a girl's pair of panties.

One day they decide to go exploring in the caves. They said to meet back in the same spot in and hour.

So, one ant went in one cave, and the other ant in a different cave. After an hour went by, the two ants met back up.

One ant was covered in brown, sticky, smelly stuff. "Eeew!, What was your cave like" asked the other ant.

"It was nice at first, but it soon became really smelly and the walls were all dark and sticky" replied the ant. "So how was your cave ?".

"Well" he said, "It was lovely at first, all pink and warm, but then this bald guy started head butting me and then spitting on me."

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Short and Funny Dirty Jokes, Dirty Text Message Jokes.

Welcome to my Dirty Text Message Jokes. This post is all about funny dirty jokes, one line dirty jokes and different types of short jokes like funny short dirty jokes, short dirty jokes and some other dirty text message jokes.

One Line Dirty Short Jokes

Why does a squirrle swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry Short Funny Jokes

How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.

Q. Why don't they have any toilet paper in KFC?
A. Because its finger licking good!

Q. Why do bunnies have soft sex?
A. They have cotton balls

Short Dirty Jokes

Q. What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

A. Slow down and use some lubricant.

Q. How can you tell when a women is having a bad day?
A. She has her tampon behind her ear,and she can`t find her cigarette.

Q. Whats the difference between a wife and a girlfriend ?
A. 3 Stone !

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Funny Dirty Jokes | Short Dirty Jokes | Dirty Text Message Jokes

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Funny Dirty Jokes and Short Dirty Jokes

" A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. "I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?"

His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not." "

"" A nerdy accountant is sent to jail for embezzlement and they put him in a cell with a huge evil looking guy. The big guy says, "I want to have some sex. You wanna be the husband or the wife?" The accountant replies, "Well, if I have to be one or the other, I guess I'd rather be the husband." The big guy says, "Okay. Now get over here and suck your wife's dick." "

""The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her young students so she took him aside after class one day. "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?" "I'm in love," replied Little Johnny. Holding back an urge to smile, the teacher asked, "With whom?" "With you!" he said. "But Little Johnny," said the teacher gently, "don't you see how silly that is? Sure I'd like a husband of my own someday... but I don't want a child."

"Oh, don't worry," said Little Johnny reassuringly, "I'll use a rubber!" "

""One day a man came home from work earlier than usual and caught his wife in bed with his best friend. Enraged, the husband grabbed a gun and shot his friend to death.

His wife said, "Ya' know, if you go on like this, you're going to lose ALL your friends.""

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Short Dirty Jokes and One line Dirty Jokes for those who loves Dirty Jokes

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One line Dirty Jokes

Q: Why are hunters so great lovers in bed?
A: Because they go deep into the bush, shoot twice and eat everything they shoot!

Q: Whats the speed limit of sex?
A: 68 because at 69 you have to turn around!!

Q. What does a guy and a car have in common?
A. They both have the ability to misfire.

Q. How can you tell when a women is having a bad day?
A. She has her tampon behind her ear,and she can`t find her cigarette.

Short Dirty Jokes and Dirty Text Message Jokes

A woman on her way home from market was carrying a duck. A drunk staggered up to her and said ,"Hey! where'd ja get the pig?" The woman replied," You drunken fool, that's no pig -- it's a duck!" And the drunk said," Quiet, I was talking to the duck."

What am I? I am a common object enjoyed by both sexes, normally about 8 inches long, with little hairs on one end, and a hole on the other. For most of the day I am laying down, but I am ready for instant action. When in use, I move back and forth and in 'n' out a warm, moist hole. When the work is finally done, a white, slushy, sticky mush is left behind, and I return to my original position. Cleaning is usually done after I am. What am I? Why, I am your very own...Toothbrush! What were you thinking, you pervert?

Race Horse Dirty Joke and Funny Dirty Jokes

A Man walks home from a long day at work only to get hit in the head with a frying pan by his wife.

In a Few hours, the man comes to, and he asks his wife, "What the f*ck was that all about?!"

His wife says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket that said Debbie with a phone number!"

The man explains" honey, that was my racehorse, Debbie! I went to the track yesterday and bet on her!"

The man's wife apologizes sincerely.

The next day, the man comes home from work to get a lamp broken on his head.

He says "what the f*ck was that for?!"

His wife says, "Your racehorse called!!!!!"

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Dirty Jokes Short Dirty Text Message Jokes Funny Text Message Jokes Dirty

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Dirty Text Message Jokes

In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because I am hungry.

It goes in dry it comes out wet. The longer its in the stronger it gets. We can have it in bed just you and me...its not what you think its a cup of tea!

Short Dirty Jokes

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

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