Funny and Short Dirty Jokes

Funny Dirty Joke

A young girl walks in on her parents having sex. She asks,
"Mum, what are you doing to Dad?"

Mum replies, "I was just letting the air out of him - he's too fat."

The little girl replies, "Why, the lady next door is just going to blow him up again."

Short Dirty Jokes

What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!


What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Hooker and Guy Joke

This guy is walking down the street, when a hooker approaches him and asks, “Say, wanna have a good time?” “Sure!” he says as they head off to the nearest motel. She takes off her clothes, all the while he’s staring at her. The hooker says, “Is this the first pussy you’ve seen since you crawled out of one?” The guy says, “Nope, just the first one I’ve seen big enough to crawl back into.”

Licking Balls Joke

Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street, when they come across this dog sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, “I sure wish I could do that!”

The other one looks at him and says, “Well, I think I’d pet him first.”

For more, Short, Funny and Rude Jokes, visit my Short Rude Jokes Blog.

Dirty Jokes Short Dirty Jokes Funny Dirty Jokes Dirty Blonde Jokes

Welcome to Dirty Text Message Jokes. Here you can find Dirty Jokes, Short Dirty Jokes, one line dirty jokes, dirty blonde jokes and different types of dirty jokes like funny dirty jokes, rude short dirty jokes and some other dirty text message jokes.

Short, one line and Funny Dirty Jokes

Q. Why dont blind men skydive?
A. Because it scares the shit out of the dog

Q. Why do men get their great ideas in bed?
A. Because their plugged into a genius!

Q. What's blue and fluffy
A. Pink fluff holding it's breath

Find thousands and thousands of Dirty Text jokes - covering every topic from short, one line to funny and blonde dirty jokes, lawyers to doctors and even stupid people dirty jokes also.

Dirty Blonde Jokes, Funny Dirty Jokes and Rude Text Jokes

One night with Princess Dirty Jokes

A King had to leave his Kingdom for some business. He was afraid that his only Daughter would be taken advantage of by some of the Guards because she was a very deep sleeper. So before he left, he slipped a razor blade between the lips of her vagina.

The King left. That night, three of the Guards did plan to Fuck the Princess.

The First Guard went into her room. From outside of the room, the other two Guards listened. Suddenly, they heard the First Guard scream. He came out. The other two Guards asked why he screamed. Embarrassed, he said that it was so good that he couldn't control himself. This made the other two smile.

The Second Guard went in. After some time? Ahhhhh!!! The Second Guard came out. The Third Guard asked what happened. Just as embarrassed as the First Guard, the Second Guard said that it felt so good that he couldn't control himself. The Third Guard smiled.

The Third Guard went into the room. He went up to the Princess and lifted her dress. Outside, the other two Guards listened. Mmmmmhhhh!?! The other two Guards took off! The next morning, the King came back. He suspected that his Guards tried to fuck his daughter. He told them to drop their pants. Each of them did. Two of them had sliced

dicks, but the third one didn?t. Confused, the King asked why. He stuck his tongue out and said, ?I neba pry fuk ur dahta, I wet lik ur dahta?!

Ant Dirty Joke

There are two ants living in a girl's pair of panties.

One day they decide to go exploring in the caves. They said to meet back in the same spot in and hour.

So, one ant went in one cave, and the other ant in a different cave. After an hour went by, the two ants met back up.

One ant was covered in brown, sticky, smelly stuff. "Eeew!, What was your cave like" asked the other ant.

"It was nice at first, but it soon became really smelly and the walls were all dark and sticky" replied the ant. "So how was your cave ?".

"Well" he said, "It was lovely at first, all pink and warm, but then this bald guy started head butting me and then spitting on me."

For more Dirty Short Jokes, Funny Dirty Jokes, Dirty Blonde Jokes, One Line Dirty Jokes and Short Dirty Jokes, always visit my Rude Text Jokes Blog.